I want to bone Claire Werbeloff.

Welcome to the grand opening of my new blog
I Want To Bone...


I will endeavour to bring to you on a weekly basis the most boneable hotties who I feel aren't getting enough recognition either in the media, or when I talk to other drunkards at the pub. I will try to stay away from the mainstream media whores as much as I can and will only post about them when I have a more valid excuse than "she's hot". I don't expect everyone to agree with all of my choices as this blog is about so much more than just aesthetic beauty. I just ask that you appreciate the beauty and reasoning of some of the ladies that make up my "Bone List". (Bucket lists are for impotent Scientologists.)


I am new to the blogging world so please be patient with me while I find my feet. It's not like you have anything to complain about, I'm bringing you pictures of hotties and definitive reasons as to what transcends them into someone who is more than just hot, who is someone you really want to bone


 If you are wondering why I haven't posted on the beautiful women you find most boneable, please feel free to let me know all about her and what makes her bonetastic to you. Nobody can have too many boneable women in his Bone-List.

My Bone-List is largely comprised of those that are a little different to the norm. I have a firm belief that the more obscure and abstract a hottie is, the more boneable she is. That is why most of the people that feature in the types of lists such as "10 most beautiful girls in the world" will never make it on to my list. I'm looking for so much more than a generic, mass produced celebrawhore.


We used to live in an age where a sex tape could bring you boneable notoriety, but that time is long gone. We probably have Paris Hilton and her lack lustre performance in "One Night in Paris" that was "released without her consent" to thank for that.
She certainly went the wrong way in making it on to my Bone-List with that horrible abomination of a sex tape. The tape which was filmed for the better part in night-shot mode left Paris looking like a luminous green cat, that has been caught in the headlights of a speeding car. When you add the fact that the douche bag that was driving the metaphorical car was making the most annoying sounds and comments in any porn, ever (which is a massive call) you end up with a piece of shit that ruins the credibility of "unauthorised" sex tapes... possibly for ever.


It is in the aforementioned spirit of obscurity, distinction, boneableness and perhaps impeccable comic timing that could rival Tina Fey that I kick off my blog with a choice that most wouldn't expect to come first, tenth, or make the Bone-List at all, but the truth of the matter is that I really want to bone Claire Werbeloff.

Just a quick glance at any of the pictures should be enough of a reason for any of you to understand why I feel the way I do, but if you feel that there is more to this wantingness to bone, then you'd be correct. 


Claire Werbeloff hit the Internet  and went viral due to her reenactment of a shooting in Sydney, Australia and most noticeably the sound "chk chk boom" of a gun being shot during her retelling of the story. Claire also went on to describe how it was a "fat wog" shooting a "skinny wog". She went on camera to tell the full story.

 "There were these two wogs fighting. The fatter wog said to the skinnier wog: 'Oi bro, you slept with my cousin.' And the other one said: 'Nah man, I didn't for shit, eh', and the other one goes: 'I will call on my fully sick boys, eh.' And then pulled out a gun and went 'chk chk boom'."

The combination of the stereotypical language used by the people that she degradingly referred to as the fat and skinny wogs as well as the child like sound she used to replicate a gun should have most of you intrigued with this gorgeous women. If you still need more to convince you, I think the rest of her story could seal the deal.

Not long after and still during the peak of her fame, Claire was forced to admit that her eyewitness account of the Sydney shooting was indeed made up after Australian police told The Sun Herald that her version of events had been completely fabricated and that she had not witnessed the shooting in question. This is the moment when I started to take interest in Claire. Anybody who can run up to a camera crew in the early hours of the morning and come up with pure comedic gold as she did is okay in my books.

After Claire went viral she had so many people requesting to do interviews with her that at the height of her fame she needed to hire a publicist to deal with the international interest in this boneable Internet sensation. Claire was offered several media jobs and she has since signed on to do a TV show called "The Hustle" which purports to show people how not to get hustled.


It should also be said (or more likely, it shouldn't) that I would be extremely turned on if in the grips of a passionate embrace with Claire, she were to make the "Chk Chk Boom" sound when either of us climaxed. Or any time either of us thrusted harder than normal. Or maybe as a build up to harder thrusting, with each chk being harder than the last and the boom obviously being harder than them all. For this scenario I would be willing to over look the massacre of the classic "Chk Chk Boom" to allow the "Chk Chk" part to be repeated many times over before the boom. Or when... I'll stop there.

If you still don't feel that Claire Werbeloff is completely boneable, then I have lost faith in you. However, in the interest of wanting people to agree with me. Here is the original clip that made Claire a household name and started a "Chk Chk Boom" phenomenon that included t-shirts, dance music songs and still makes people laugh on a drunken night on the town, especially, Kings Cross.

Claire, I want to bone her.

Enjoy.