"The way I see it, God gave me the body, so I intend to use it. It's a big ego trip.... You know, you look around a bar, you pick out a guy and you say, that's the one: I'm going to take all of his money tonight."Teresa Beaty (b. c. 1975), U.S. stripper and member of the United States Air Force. As quoted in the New York Times Magazine, p. 60 (March 27, 1994).
This quote sums up why I find strippers so boneable. I could finish this post here with nothing more than a few pictures and I think that most of you would either completely get it, or begin to despise strippers even more while you paint anti-abortion banners and complain about the effect day light savings could have. I understand some people are morally opposed to the whole industry, but these people really need to wake up. These boneable girls chose their occupation because they enjoy it and it almost certainly pays more than what you earn per hour. I'm attracted to strong women that know what they want and how to get it (I'm also attracted to the complete opposite, but we'll discuss that later). And a stripper with the kind of mindset shared by Teresa Beaty, who also has the looks and moves to pull it off, which includes not being a raging, scab-infested crack whore, will easily make my Bone-List every time. Every single time.
They don't have to be naked for me to feel this way either, although it certainly helps, they know how to exploit the drunken male and I find it both hilarious and bonetastic. Now... I'm not saying that just because I notice the power that they wield that I do not fall victim to it as well. Quite the contrary, strippers are my kryptonite. The fact that I now know of their power only increases my vulnerability. If I ever decide to follow my childhood dream of being a superhero, then I just hope for the sake of the general public that I never come across an evil, criminal mastermind stripper otherwise or will be lost.
I have been out on boys nights when I was younger and seen my friends get fleeced and quite enjoyed it, but I never realise why I enjoyed it so much. It wasn't until I went out by myself while on a holiday and I decided to hit up a strip club for a couple of pre-drinks. The place had just opened and I was one of the first punters in there which was fantastic because I got a lot of attention. I ended up spending more money than I should on both alcohol and tipping the boneable strippers. Just as I was about to leave, two Russian girls came up and tried to talk to someone I had started talking to and myself. They were suggesting that we join them for a private dance.I remember the smile on his face as he walked away and left them to me.
This man already knew of the beautiful power a stripper holds (and he most certainly knew that their power increases exponentially as their numbers increase) and what was about to happen to me. We talked for a minute and I explained that I, quite unfortunately, could not afford to have a private dance with either of them, let alone both of them and that I was just about to leave.This is where they unleashed their power and I was helpless. Like a child in a toy store, everything had been marketed so that my senses were being bombarded constantly, making me an easy target. They then told me that I really had no decision in the matter and they started kissing up both sides of my neck all the way up behind my ears. I resisted what felt like a life time of trying to delay the inevitable, which was probably a whole of three seconds, before I "decided" that I would indeed like a private dance.
In reailty, I didn't decide anything.Just like Teresa Beaty they spotted me, sized me up and took all of my money. While we were in our private room the very convincing girls got me to stay for more than just one private dance and even took my wallet out of my hands showing me exactly how much money I had and what I could and could not afford. It was at this exact moment that I realised just how much I wanted to bone them. How could I let this happen, and more so, why was I enjoying it so much?
It's because they are beautiful, magic creatures. Sure, they're definitely bad for your bank account and probably not to healthy for the integrity of the stitching in the crotchal region of your pants. However, treated like any indulgence, in moderation and with care, you will have a good time, have memories to cherish and they will remain boneable for many years to come.Strippers. Exotic dancers. Adult entertainers. What ever you want to call them, I feel sorry for you if you don't realise just how boneable they are. And when the day comes that I decide to get married, my future wife would be served well by reading this post and taking the appropriate actions on my bucks night.
